…Do not fret – it leads only to evil. (Psalm 37:8b)
The Psalmist is quite firm about the issue of fretting. In the first eight verses of the Psalm, the injunction “do not fret” occurs three times.
What is fretting? We all know what it is because we all do it at least some of the time. And some of us do it a lot. Most of the time, we fret about things that we do not have control over, things which distress us. We experience agitation in our minds, troubling thoughts which consume our hearts, crowding out the practice of gratitude and disrupting our internal peace. So what ought I to do when I find myself fretting?
The Psalmist actually tells us: Trust in the LORD and do good…Take delight in the LORD…Commit your way unto the LORD, trust in him…Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him. If you’re like me, your response to this is: yes, of course. But how to actually do it?
The first thing that is helpful for me to do is to remind myself that I am a disciple who is in the process of being instructed, that I am still learning. Learning total trust involves first unlearning my old way of living as though it’s all up to me to manage my life by myself, by my own understanding and effort. I know that I am not left alone or forgotten, but I sometimes lose track of that. Recognizing that the old habits have to be extinguished and replaced with something new is key to helping me “change the channel” of my thoughts.
The next thing that helps me is to assure myself that God isn’t upset with me for reverting to my old ways. My failures to rest trustfully in his providence in my life right now are simply opportunities to practice more, which of course is how we learn. In fact, my loving Father is pleased with my efforts to improve at doing the things the Psalmist has said I ought to do instead of fretting. When I take the pressure off myself to “get it right”, I can turn from my worried thoughts and do something else: choose to do something good for someone else; exercise gratitude for God’s faithfulness and his promises; pray and ask the Holy Spirit for help to choose to entrust the situation to him (over and over until it works!); and eventually be enabled to wait patiently for how God will show up in the distressing circumstances and provide for whatever I need. The Lord is my Shepherd, there is nothing I shall lack.
Maintaining a listening heart and a willing spirit are my goals. Sometimes I do pretty well at that; sometimes I fall far short.
Here’s what I repeatedly pray: Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I trust you. Jesus, I give you my heart. I know he hears me. I need only to still myself to recognize that he is right here with me, loving me, caring for me.
