At the beginning of the Gospel of John, Jesus asks two former followers of John the Baptist (Andrew and presumably John himself): “What do you seek?”(John 2:37-38). All of us are seeking something which we believe – rightly or wrongly – will satisfy our restless hearts and make us feel whole again.
Before Adam and Eve fell from the original grace in which they had been living, they were in perfect harmony within themselves, with nature, with each other, and especially with God. Genesis says that they walked in close, comfortable fellowship with God in the cool of the evening. They were “naked and unashamed”; not simply physically naked but naked in the sense of being totally without self-consciousness: whole, unadorned with anything else, simply who God had created them to be. They didn’t need anything else, for God had created them “very good”, the crown of his creation and greatly pleasing to him. He was delighted being in their company, for they were his son and daughter who had received their entire identity from his generous Heart of love.
But the Enemy out of his envy of humanity cunningly convinced them that God was withholding something from them, something desirable. A liar from the beginning, he implied that God wasn’t really good, and that they were incomplete, lacking something, something they needed to seek outside of their relationship with God. Instead of receiving their identity from God the Father, they falsely believed the lie that they had to make themselves complete by their own efforts. And so they ate from the one tree out of all the trees in the garden of which God had forbidden them to partake.
Why this prohibition? To give them practice in trustfully surrendering themselves to God’s care and loving, generous provision for them moment by moment as his beloved children. When they distrusted God’s goodness and rebelled against this obedience to him, it caused a rupture in the perfect harmony they had enjoyed in every area of their lives and consequently the loss of their true identity.
We too struggle with our true identity as beloved children of our Heavenly Father. Because of sin – our own sin and the sinful actions of people around us – as well as the fallen nature of creation itself, we suffer trauma, betrayal, disappointment, neglect, illness and all sorts of other things which create serious wounds in our souls. We can come to believe falsely that we are unlovable, inadequate, a mistake, a burden to others. Often, our worst wounds come from those closest to us in our childhood, especially from our families. False beliefs about ourselves end up becoming part of the ongoing “story” of our lives that we live by, and inevitably influence our future decisions and choices. Most addictions, bad habits, and sinful actions stem from our trying to find relief from the emotional pain of our wounded self-concept.
Jesus came not only to restore the dignity and security of what was lost by Adam and Eve’s original sin, but to grant us an even greater treasure: his very own supernatural Life within our souls and bodies. St Peter writes that we have been enabled by the sacrifice of Jesus and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit to become “partakers of the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:4), the very nature of the holy Trinity. God longs to draw us to himself in intimate fellowship and friendship, sharing his very self, reclaiming his family and bringing us home to his Heart of love.
We all have Eden in our deepest hearts, so to speak: that same longing for perfect love, perfect peace, perfect fellowship. We try lots of things in this world to fill the hole inside, but like the Samaritan woman at the well in the Gospel (John 4), we keep having to go back for more, over and over. Jesus offers more to her – he offers himself. He offers what he will give to her and to any of us who seek him: his very own Spirit dwelling inside, the water of life to slake our deep thirst for love which we had vainly sought elsewhere. This woman is as we are: looking to be seen, known, and loved. But we have all been looking for that love in the wrong places – in popularity, material possessions, status, food, sex, the admiration of others – all sorts of things other than God himself, the true Source.
To those disciples who sought Jesus in the Gospel, he says simply: “Come and see”. In other words: experience me, learn my ways, walk with me, read my Heart. Jesus himself is the embodiment of humankind; our model, yes, but also the very Way to the truth of our own truly human identity.
Scripture is God himself through the cooperation of human authors telling us who he is as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Through the wisdom of the Church guided by that same Spirit, the Scriptures – out of all the trillions of words written by human beings – has determined that these words, this library of books, is truly the word of God.
Prayer is the umbilical cord of the spiritual life. Prayer sustains us spiritually. It is our response to the longing of God to connect with us, his children. It is a dialogue between us, for as the best of all possible parents, he always wants to hear from us and communicate with us. Praying with Scripture facilitates our coming to know his true character as revealed ultimately in Jesus Christ.
As we discover more of God’s truth in his holy Word, lies and distortions we have believed gradually begin to fall away and we are able to trust more; to be less defensive, less anxious , less striving. And as we grow in trust, we can relax in God’s love for us more and more. Our true selves (as opposed to the “false selves” we fashion out of fear and pain) can respond to his love more and more fully, for as St John says, “There is no fear in love, for perfect love casts out fear…” (1 John 4:18).
Prayer journaling with Scripture facilitates this vital dialogue with God. When we put our thoughts and feelings down in writing, we’re more real with God, more “naked”, and his response to us brings the healing of the deepest wounds in our souls. Journaling also helps us to remember the things we are beginning to see, the messages we sense God is speaking to our hearts so that these treasures aren’t lost to forgetfulness.
Jesus Christ has poured himself out entirely in pure, merciful, unmerited love of us. Praying and writing with Scripture helps us see ourselves more deeply from his point of view rather than from our own wounded, broken perspective, and the “story” of our lives can then be re-written. Interacting deeply with Scripture makes it possible to actually cooperate with what his Spirit wants to accomplish in us: reclaiming our true identity in him so as to live lives that are whole, free and fulfilling.
So don’t just read the Bible; pray carefully with those passages that seem to speak something special to you. Invite the Spirit to speak to your heart and write down your thoughts, questions, and feelings Ask the Spirit to clarify confusion and to help you be assured that your questions will eventually be answered. Scripture helps us be firm in faith, patient in hope and to know that in the meantime, our Father is pleased with us, pleased that we seek that deep communion which his Son died to secure for us, his beloved children.
Lessons From Love School 