“the LORD sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”. (1 Samuel 16:7, RSV)
I’ve been going through a trying time for the last week. I broke out with a weird itchy rash all over my body. And despite two visits to the urgent care center and taking Prednisone and benedryl, it has continued to plague me, keeping me up at night with discomfort. I’m praying that I can get some help when I visit the dermatologist tomorrow.
It’s funny though. This situation has made me think about how concerned I can become with how others view me. I don’t fancy myself to be that great looking, but I’m usually feeling mostly okay about my appearance. That way, I can concentrate on other people around me rather than myself, and I can feel relaxed and attentive to them. This rash is so disfiguring (hopefully, temporarily!) that I struggle with how distressing it might be to people seeing it: will they think I’m communicable? will they even think I have measles?? will they look at me with pity? I feel very “Job-like”, scratching my poor skin as he did on his Biblical ash heap misery. My challenge is to submit myself to whatever God is allowing right now, to trust His love and wisdom completely, and relinquish my demand to understand or control things.
There are a couple of things I have been meditating on. First, that God is allowing this situation for his own good reasons. There are things that I can’t learn apart from going through this suffering, and because those things are far more important than my temporary discomfort, my Heavenly Father allows me to go through this.
Secondly, while my skin rash looks really terrible, the ugliness of sin is far worse. It might not be visible on the outside, but it is the leprosy of the soul: it consumes the person from the inside and eventually can bring about death.
I’m praying that I might not fall into self-pity, that I might not be consumed by vanity about how I look. I pray that the Holy Spirit would give me a heart which yearns above all to be beautiful in God’s eyes, not the eyes of the world which only sees the outsides of things. I pray that God would grant me the desire to love others more than to curry their favor or impress them. Give me your Heart, dear Jesus!
Lessons From Love School 
Chris,
Praying that God’s healing will be upon you and you will be relieved of this discomfort. I can relate with your feelings around being viewed negatively. For many years I have struggled with something I cannot change—the color of my skin. The shame that have carried because of the comments of others, the fear that someone wants to harm me because of racism, the subtle and not so subtle messages that I am less than, can emotionally destroy me. I have come to hold on to the reality that God made no mistake in creating me and did so for His honor and glory. There are times when I still struggle but the Holy Spirit always reminds me that as the Psalmist says in Psalm 139:14, “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..”
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I’m leaving a comment: My poor sister!!! I too hope you can get some relief after seeing the derm I had eczema on and off for years after I first had my food allergies, and it’s no fun, so I sympathize, 😭
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I’m sorry to hear you’re uncomfortable. This is a very timely message for me as I’ve been struggling with this a lot lately. I want to believe that appearances are the least important things about people. Thank you for sharing.
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I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. I’ll pray for your comfort right now.
thank you for sharing this timely message. I am really praying to believe that appearances are the least important things about people.
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Hope you are recovered! So sorry you have been experiencing this.
Thank you for the beautiful reminder of where our focus needs to be, in times of trial as well as times of plenty. I am inspired by your example and reminded of Phil 2: “Do all things without complaining or grumbling”. Sometimes a hard thing to get a hold of.
I look forward to hearing more from your meditations.
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