“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)
Much of my family and several good friends are very “pro choice” in their political leanings and can’t understand how I’m not. When I cite this (gigantic) issue as relevant to how I’m thinking about the upcoming election, the response is often, “Why are you such a one-issue person?”. It’s hard to explain it to them, but I occasionally try.
Recently, I decided to review some helpful presentations about how to talk about life issues with someone who is coming from a different perspective, and I found myself “rehearsing” in my head about what to say. Not a bad strategy. However, I began to wonder about my motivation. Was I just wanting to win an argument, or at least score a couple of logical points? Was I coming from a place of self-protection, just wanting to avoid being ridiculed? Both of these stem from my pridefulness.
If I really examine my heart, I ask myself how much of my thought process and the words I’m rehearsing inside is coming from love for the other person, desire for their genuine good? I may well be “speaking the truth”, but am I doing so “in love”, love that truly desires the good of the other person, even if it costs me something? (See Ephesians 4:15)
It seems to me that the militant pro abortion stance proceeds from a lack of understanding about who God really is: a good Father who loves each of his children extravagantly, and always desires our genuine flourishing. It also fails to recognize that all life is a gift from a good Creator. We are contingent beings who receive life, we don’t create it from scratch; we only receive the capacity to reproduce.
Our genitals are meant to do what they were created for – to generate life. Yes, God has ordained that our brains and bodies are “wired” to experience pleasure in these activities, however the pleasure is not the ultimate aim of the sex act: love is. The God who created our bodies to be as they are knows precisely how best we are to live, and He has laid out guidelines (think, “user manual instructions”) for our benefit in the Scriptures.
We have been created with a capacity to say “yes” or “no” to the guidelines laid out for us. And our culture has said a resounding “NO!”. But might it be that our insistence on making up our own rules, “doing it my way” is fraught with pitfalls and possible disasters?
The Enemy of our souls has zero capacity to create life; he can only destroy it, and that is his aim. He has sold mankind from the very beginning in the Garden of Eden the idea that “freedom” – doing it my own way apart from the “oppression” of God’s rules – is the key to happiness. Millions of abortions worldwide, dangerously low birth rates in many countries, unstable families and numerous fatherless children are all fallout from the lies we’ve swallowed and turned into law.
And what of the millions of brokenhearted women who have themselves become collateral damage of abortion? Discussion of specific policies and alternative solutions to abortion are lacking in our current political climate. Sadly, slogans and platitudes are all we hear most of the time.
So how do I even begin to talk to my family and friends about all of this? It seems too daunting to even begin. Yet I must say something sometimes. But what, exactly?
I guess I ought to do as Ephesians says: I must think of their needs, not my own. What is it that they need most? I think they need to know and experience that they – individually – are seen, known and loved. I ought to ask more questions, listen to them, and wait for the Spirit to provide an opening to share the Good News of Jesus. I’m likely not going to convince anyone of anything, but perhaps I can plant a little seed. And my first job is to love them and desire their good and put self aside as best I can. If I experience derision, so be it; “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:10). Help me, Holy Spirit!
Lessons From Love School 
Hi Chris,
You are to be commended for addressing such a challenging topic. One of the challenges can be a somewhat myopic view of “pro-life.” Often the idea is limited to babies in the womb, yet there is an expectation that once they are born, all is well. However, there’s very little discussion of how are we going to help the 14 year old adolescent finish her schooling while raising a baby? There are very few supports in place to assist a young woman in this situation after the baby is born. Yes, there is adoption and a woman can bring her baby to a hospital without experiencing arrest if she does not want to raise the child. However, emotionally there may be a sense of fear and shame that keeps women from following through with leaving their baby in a safe place. I myself am pro-life but I believe sometimes hard decisions need to be made in cases of the mother’s life being threatened or rape/incest. In a perfect world, there would be no question regarding the value of the life of a child. However, we are constantly reminded on a daily basis how fallen this world is in so many areas of life and some of the challenges that are before us are not always black and white. As you so wisely noted we need to actively listen to others and discover how they came to believe their position. Additionally, we need to check our own hearts. People don’t just wake up one morning and declare they are going to take one position or another. They are influenced by various factors such as upbringing, social media, etc. Jesus established relationships with others to open up the doors of opportunity to share the gospel. Sharing the gospel has always been and will always be our primary calling as Jesus commissioned His disciples in Matthew 28:18-20, nothing has changed that command. Jesus did not say go and preach your opinion, or go and preach your politics but go and preach the gospel. Our ultimate aim is to plant the seeds so the Holy Spirit can water them and hopefully produce a harvest for the kingdom.
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Excellent points, Sheree. I couldn’t agree more that being truly pro-life is much more than caring only about preborn children. However, that’s what I get questioned about most frequently, so that’s what calls for my response. Usually, if I say that we need a total overhaul of our support system for parents and children (healthcare, childcare, housing costs, tax policies, etc, etc), the response is, “Great, but in the meantime, we need women to have access to abortion” (aka “reproductive freedom”). Abortion sweeps the real problems under the carpet so society can ignore what really needs to be done.
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