“Blessed Are They That Mourn…”

“… for they shall be comforted.” (Mt. 5:4)

What do we mourn?  We mourn our losses – losses of people we love, or even things we love such as a position we’ve held, a favored pet, a treasured momento, etc.  We mourn the loss of life due to senseless tragedies like war and cancer and school shootings.  We mourn our helplessness to alter painful circumstances in our own lives and the lives of those we love. 

And sometimes we grieve over our failures, failures to love God and our neighbor as another self.  “Weep with those who weep“, says St Paul (Romans 12:15): we ought to grieve the ways we have wounded others by our selfishness, for the memory of that can be instructive to us and be the “engine” of true repentance on our part. 

What is “comfort”?  It is not commiseration, not simply a generic “there, there” pat on the shoulder.  The root of the word is “co-” meaning “with”, and “forte” meaning “strength”.  Comfort is “with-strength”, lending one’s own strength in solidarity with another. 

St Paul writes, “Bear one another’s burdens… but each one must carry his own load” (see Galatians 6:2-5).   Our ability to comfort another person comes ultimately from the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, the source of all wisdom and all spiritual strength to bear the cross of life that we’re trying to carry well (2 Corinthians 1:4).

However, we need to comfort others wisely and prudently, from an eternal perspective.  We must not “over-sympathize” with someone; above all we must never say, “that should never have happened to you”, for in doing so, we are implying that God is not good for allowing the situation (this insight comes from Oswald Chambers).  Most of the suffering in this world arises from the free will of human beings choosing the wrong, or from the fallen state of this world, the world which Jesus Christ came to save and make new. 

Suffering is woven into the fabric of our human experience; there is no escaping it.  St Augustine wrote, “Since God is the highest good, he would not allow evil to exist in his works unless his omnipotence and goodness were such as to bring good even out of evil”.  What might that “good” be?  An opportunity to increase in faith, hope and charity, those indispensable requirements of the spiritual walk.  My suffering, my grief, my mourning, my pain is like a bitter medicine that the doctor prescribes for me to get well; I hate it, but desire its good effects.

It’s true that God might deliver me from my grief by removing the situation which is causing my pain, and I certainly can pray for that.  It might also be that he might simply lend me his comfort and his strength in my trial by assuring me of his love and care in the midst of it.

If I willingly “take up my cross” with love for God, he can transform the pain I’m experiencing into a sacrifice of love, lightening the weight of that suffering.  And no matter what, he will grant me the best of gifts: his loving Presence in the midst of my pain, my loss, and my failure, for he is the best and wisest of Comforters and his love never fails.