The God Who Sees Me…

“…she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, ‘You are a God of seeing’…” (Genesis 16:13, RSV).

“Behold, you desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.” (Psalms 51:6, RSV).

“And before him no creature is hidden, but all are open and laid bare to the eyes of him with whom we have to do.” (Hebrews 4:13, RSV).

When Hagar, Abraham’s newly pregnant Egyptian slave, ran away from her mistress Sarah’s abuse, she escaped into the nearby wilderness.  There, God sent his messenger to speak to her and assure her that her plight was seen by God, and that this same God had a plan for her and for her unborn child.  Her response was to name the God whom she encountered, “a God of seeing”, or “You are the God who sees me.” (NIV version).

In Psalm 51 King David acknowledged his sin with Bathsheba, the sin he had tried to hide.  His adultery was known by God, who sent his prophet Nathan to confront the king with the truth. God desired David to come into the light of truth so that he might be forgiven and restored to fellowship with his God.  God’s desire is always “truth in the inward being”, for precisely there – in the light of truth – will we find God waiting for us.  As with the Prodigal, our Father waits for our return home to him, the return which happens only when we speak truth to ourselves and to him.

Scripture is clear: we all are seen and known by God, “laid bare” before his eyes.  It is our fallen nature which has, from the very beginning in the Garden of Eden, attempted vainly to hide from his “seeing”.  Why do we do this?  Fear: fear which comes ultimately from believing the lies and distortions by the enemy of our souls about who God truly is.  But Jesus has come to reveal the Truth of God: his mercy, compassion and infinite love, and to grant us of his Spirit that we might actually apprehend this Truth. 

Real prayer requires one basic thing: that I humbly acknowledge the truth of who I am before God, a truth I must acknowledge to myself first.  Stepping into reality by speaking this truth,  removing the “veils” with which I have tried to disguise myself, I come out of hiding so that I might be taught God’s “wisdom in [my] secret heart”.  This is what He wants to convey to my inner being: that I am seen in all my failures and frailties, thoroughly known there, and loved despite all that. 

When I stop hiding, stop pretending, stop trying to fool myself into thinking that I’m not visible to him, that is when God’s desire to reveal himself to me and my ability to actually receive this revelation intersect. 

That’s why the Church has given us the Sacrament of Reconciliation – Confession – to help to bring us to that place.  When I’m honest and open, when I’m truly, honestly speaking the truth about myself, I can be “naked and unashamed” (Genesis 2:25) before my Savior – my Divine Bridegroom – and that’s the way things were meant to be from the beginning.